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If he calls you a dirty little whore, it may not and likely does not mean he really feels that way in real life. United States. Type keyword s to search.

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Tara Moore. Be vocal. Listen to your partner. Lena Mirisola. Talk about those TBTs. Live vicariously through the phone. Explore new places Don't forget about pillow talk.

Phone sex can be an appetizer, not just the main event. Be safe. Take a detour if you need it. Reza Estakhrian. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.

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Then, it's just regular masturbation, not phone sex, ya dig? The quicker the pace of their breath, the more likely they are on the verge of finishing, explains Stephanie Cathcart, professional phone-sex operator and founder of Total Lip Service.

Noticing how excited they're getting should hopefully turn you on even more. If you start to get in your head "I feel ridiculous" or "This is kinda weird" , go back to your own heart rate, breath, and even body temp, says Brito.

This will help you stay present and in the mood. Hey, not everyone is up for a chat! You don't need to narrate the entire time. If you're feeling stuck on what to say, feel free to throw it back to your partner: "Where are your hands right now?

What do your boxers look like? Like regular sex, something might kill the phone-sex mood, and if that happens, it's okay to voiceyourtruth.

Take the reins if it's going somewhere you're not into, or say you'd like to take it slowwww if that's the case. For this reason, phone sex serves as an incredible gateway to role-play, because you're able to go through the motions without going to the nines a.

So for a little extra fun because, again, novelty , feel free to get creative with your voice, such as opting for a higher pitch tone for a "school girl" or a lower one for a "dominatrix.

If you'd rather just keep phone sex real which is perfectly A-okay , Cathcart recommends ditching the dramatics.

Using your imagination is part of what makes phone sex so hot, but don't forget that you've got more video tools at your disposal than ever.

Why not start with a little phone action, then switch to video chat sex when things get heated? Your game, your rules.

On the same note, feel free to tell your partner that this is a visual-free zone if that's what you're comfortable with. If you want to climax, whoever climaxes first should ideally stay on the line until the other reaches the finish line, too.

Or, at least end the convo at a stopping point that works for both of you. Abrupt endings are kinda the worst, am I wrong?

If that doesn't make you want to have phone sex, like, tonight, I don't know what will. A trusty episode of SATC , perhaps? Weight Loss.

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A low, soft tone of voice or heavy breathing can help set the mood, but don't force it if doing so is unnatural for you: speaking and breathing comfortably in your normal tone of voice will be sexier than an awkwardly forced attempt at sounding sexy.

Introduce a casual topic that will segue nicely into sexy talk. Getting started is possibly the hardest part, especially if it's your first time!

Pick a topic that's easy for you to bring up, but which has the potential to spiral into steamier territory. Examples: How much you miss them, or wish they were with you What you would like to do if they were with you What you're wearing and how you look in it What you're doing How you're feeling Ask your partner to describe any of the above to you.

Escalate into sexy talk. Once you have the ball rolling and you're feeling comfortable, try getting bolder with your descriptions, or bring up new, sexier topics.

A good approach is to describe or ask your partner to describe, the following three things: What you're doing : Describe how you look and the way you're touching yourself.

Be as coy or as raunchy as you like! Ask for "advice" -- for example, "should I start playing with my underwear? Don't feel bad if you're not comfortable with touching yourself -- you can still let them know that you're enjoying simply listening to them.

What you're imagining : This could be, for example, what you'd like to be doing with your partner, a moment from great sex the two of you have had in the past, or a mental image of what they're describing to you.

You might want to start out slow: begin with tame descriptions like "first, I'd stroke your hair" or "I really like the way your chest looks in a T-shirt", before moving on to steamier things like "then I'd kiss your neck" or "remember when you did that thing to me in the shower?

Moaning is a great way to communicate how good you're feeling. However, there's no need to do this if you're not comfortable with it.

You can start with just letting your breath go at first, to help bring out little moans into louder moans.

Let them know when they've described or done something you really enjoyed. Likewise, don't be afraid to tell them when you don't enjoy something -- it'll allow the two of you to move on to something else that you'll both find enjoyable.

Masturbate and orgasm optional. Mutual masturbation and orgasm are excellent additions to phone sex, but they're not a requirement by any means. Don't feel bad if your partner doesn't join you in masturbating.

If you don't want to masturbate alone, ask them before you start if they'd be interested in joining you. Likewise, don't get anxious if they start masturbating and you don't want to -- you're not obligated to join them.

Just enjoy listening to them pleasure themselves. Don't worry if one or both of you fail to reach orgasm. Think of it as the icing on the cake, rather than the goal of the exercise.

If you reach orgasm before your partner is ready to stop, don't go quiet! Continue talking to them, describing what you're feeling and imagining.

Finish having phone sex. The point at which you decide to stop is up to you. There's no need to wait for orgasm -- or, indeed, to stop just because you've both come.

There's no rule as to how quickly you should end the call after finishing. Some people prefer ending the call as soon as their breathing has gone back to normal, whereas others prefer to stay on the line and chat.

Let your partner know how much you enjoyed yourself before you end the call. Not really, no. Since it's over the phone, there is obviously no chance of pregnancy or STDs.

Not Helpful Helpful Why would couples do this in the first place? Why can't they just do this in real life?

In this case, phone sex might might feel like they are being intimate from afar. There are many potential reasons why though, it's personal and between the consenting partners.

Not Helpful 82 Helpful Yes, but that's not the only way to do it. You don't need to have a video component if you're not comfortable with that.

It's up to you and your partner. Not Helpful 59 Helpful The point to phone sex is really to be on the phone. However, if you find a way to use online video chat, that could work as well.

If all else fails, you could ask a friend to borrow their phone for the night -- just make sure they're on board with the plan beforehand.

Not Helpful 78 Helpful It could involve use of the phone's camera. It is entirely up to you and your partner. It may be worth a discussion with your partner.

It all depends upon the rules you and your partner establish before and during the session. Pictures may heighten the level of excitement for each.

Did you discuss the idea of having phone sex before you called him? He may be surprised or shocked by you coming on too strong over the phone if this is a new idea to him.

Phone or text him back asking for a normal chat, then raise the matter of what you were trying to do and ask him outright if it's something he is keen to try or feels uncomfortable with.

Then take it from there. Kate Ewing. If you are scared of pain, start with something small and comfortable. Basically, in your comfort zone.

Test any that you may be using during the phone sex before the call, so you can become comfortable. Remember, sex toys are a thing totally based on preference, and if you've tried it once or twice and still don't like it, then you don't have to use it.

Make like your favorite reality show stars and start spilling! Phone sex is a great platform for testing the waters for your secret fantasies.

Maybe you hate the outdoors and would never in a million years be caught doing water sports. Think of as many different scenarios as you can: the library, the back of your car, Paris, in an airplane, at a Costco, etc.

As for role-play scenarios, Lauren suggests: cop, sexy nurse. And for sexy situations: caught with an erection, caught masturbating, being alone in a castle, deserted beach, or BDSM party.

So, make sure you both block out enough time to do this after things get hot and heavy on the phone. Although phone sex quickies can be just as hot too.

Imagine you had that sexy conversation right as your partner was about to leave work and come home? This is also a good tip for couples new to the phone-sex game.

Treating phone sex as sexy little appetizing pieces can help take some of the pressure off. Safe, sane, and consensual is the motto to keep in mind.

Although laughing through the awkwardness may work for some people, if it takes you out of the moment, try redirecting to an earlier point of the conversation.

I bet you can imagine my warm lips on your penis right now. If he calls you a dirty little whore, it may not and likely does not mean he really feels that way in real life.

United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Don't Fall For Pence's Politeness. Katie Buckleitner Getty Images.

Getty Images. Hone in on the voyeurism fantasy. Get submissive or dominant. Use toys. Claire Artman. Start with sexting. Jonathan Knowles. Hans Neleman.

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